Category: Christmas

Who am I?


‘Twas just about midnight,
I looked out the window.
I saw what I saw, but,
It couldn’t have been so.

I observed looking up,
In the night sky to see,
It was old Kris Kringle,
Sitting there on a tree.

‘Twas the craziest thing,
So, I squinted my eyes.
Santa had something,
Between his big thighs.
It was hard to believe,
It went straight up his arse.
An immense Christmas tree,
This must be a farce.

He seemed to be injured,
Yet, the reindeer were laughing.
Yes, Santa looked dreadful,
Still Rudolph was clapping.

And then I saw sticking,
Out his massive red nose,
The top of said tree,
it was fairly exposed.

He suddenly let out,
An extremely big sneeze,
then out popped a star,
To come crown it with ease.

I ran out and shouted,
“Hey! will you be all right?
Are you stuck there, marooned?
Will you be there all night?”

He looked down toward me,
I believe he did say,
“You dumb SOB,
do you deem this okay?”

I saw he was still,
Holding on to his toys.
I told him to drop them,
I had no secret ploys.

He looked as if through me,
Did he visit my heart?
Santa yielded a look,
Then he let out a fart.

He relinquished the toys,
at long last he gave in.
I had me a plan,
I could finally begin.

I propelled all the toys,
To my home right away.
I started to sell them,
Oh! what would he say?

The stuff sold real quickly,
the response was quite swell.
And then I bid Santa,
A convenient farewell.

I’m guessing the doctor,
Was mistaken with three,
For my heart didn’t grow,
Not a single degree.

Dear Santa

I have food in my cupboards,
And food in the fridge.
I have stuff in the freezer,
My pantry a smidge.

Over my head there’s a roof,
And heat in the place.
(never enough for my girls),
But, ample for grace.

I have two socks for my shoes,
A coat, scarf and hat.
My trousers need no mending,
My shirts are pressed flat.

I have family and allies,
In love we do share.
I abide in a country,
Where freedom’s like air.

I possess all essentials,
For Christmas this year.
So, if you must pass me by,
Please be of good cheer.

Get-up-and-go spend more time,
With people in need.
And I’ll try to help you out,
With a pleasing deed.

When I see you circling,
My stop you wont make.
I’ll remember you’re working,
At easing heart ache.

Merry Christmas.